Confusion of my Heart
by Akari Shyni
Summary: Prince Li Syaoran is turning sixteen. His father wants him to marry someone just to produce an heir, and thinks he has raised his son to be perfectly coldhearted. How can he show his love while his father wants to only see him emotionless? SxS, some ExT
1. Boy

Eh.this is my first CardCaptor Sakura fanfiction, so please review! ^_^ Anyways.future installments of this story may contain some stuff that can be rated a bit higher than PG-13, but not much, more like kissing and some briefly embarrassing moments for the couple Syaoran x Sakura.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Prince Li Syaoran stared disinterestedly at the curtain which blocked the window of his carriage. He was brooding over one of the latest (and slowly getting more frequent) debates with his father over the topic of marriage. He groaned inwardly. His birthday was today. He would be turning sixteen, a "ripe age" as his father put it, for finding himself a wife or someone to sire an heir with. A sudden commotion ahead of his carriage dragged him out of his thoughts and he reached out to open the window curtain to allow better sound, and view, of what was going on.  
  
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The criers for Prince Li Syaoran's carriage were guards with new uniforms, gaudy, relatively new to their assigned posts, and arrogant. The crowds parted, albeit slightly ruffled at the rudeness of the criers, for any blocking the way of a royal procession would be arrested, and, depending on the noble's mood, would be fined, imprisoned, or executed, or all of the above. The crier's horses galloped and pranced back and forth to keep the road ahead of the carriage free from civilian interference. Suddenly a child who had finally pried loose from her mother's grip to regain possession of her ball of yarn ran forward, and the haughty guard made no move to stop his horse as it galloped full-tilt towards the slow, oblivious child.  
  
It seemed the inevitable would happen, another careless accident that was not entirely unintentional. However, it was at that exact moment that a figure leaped down from a roof hanging over the street and grabbed the reins of the crier's horse.  
  
The horse reared and the person leapt back to shield the girl, but the crier was furious. "Arrest that person! He attacked a guard of the Royal family and is a danger to the Prince!"  
  
The person's gaze looked up from underneath his cap, glaring at the guard with enraged, shining emerald eyes. His voice was low yet melodic. "Would such a royal guard of such a noble person trample children on the streets for pure entertainment?"  
  
The guard's lips curled into a sneer. "Children should watch where they're walking. It does them good to learn early-on to avoid hoofs. It helps their survival. After all, the strongest always survive, right?" His laugh pealed through the silence of the crowd, and the anger of the intense green gaze intensified.  
  
The other guards had silently formed a circle around the offending lad, who pulled his cap lower and seemed to sulk and freeze in defeat. The first guard's laugh continued in amusement at the boy's predicament, obviously thinking him defeated. The staff, unnoticed by all before, had been removed from its strapping on the boy's back and now was used expertly in his hands. He swung it around in a full circle without ever taking his eyes off the first guard. The other guards stumbled back or fell if they were too slow. He then proceeded in smartly hitting weak points, immobilizing, but not seriously damaging or killing anyone with his staff.  
  
The circle of twelve guards was slowly being reduced, but they steadily got angrier, more frustrated, and more desperate. While the boy fought with two of the guards who had come at him at the same time, their swords ominous compared to his staff, three others circled behind him and one swung his sword downwards to slash at the boy's back. He twisted, sensing the movement a split second before it was fully executed, and avoided being cut in half. The boy somersaulted to keep on his feet, but his cap had come loose in the fight and soft auburn hair tumbled free from their earlier confinement. The boy wasn't a boy, but a girl, Sakura Kinmoto.  
  
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Did you like it, did you hate it, did you just get bored.? Review to tell me!!! =) 


	2. Hopes and Fears

This is the next chapter (yay, finally, all those reviews really got me up and moving, ~_^)!!! Please continue to R+R (read & review) =)!  
  
--- = thoughts  
  
" --- " = spoken  
  
(just thought you'd like to know =) I'm having a bit of trouble with italics x.x)  
  
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"Stop!" The command rung out like a thunder clap, surprising the entire crowd, and the combatants. Sakura froze at the unexpected sound, and the remaining guards took their opportunity and struck her unprotected back. She fell with a cry, and Syaoran's cold eyes flickered briefly with an emotion that faded away before it could be defined. The guards quickly bound up her hands and Syaoran stepped out of his carriage, ignoring the fumbling footman who had tried to assist him.  
  
He gazed at her, his face emotionless, but something flickered in his eyes. What was that? She was so determined, so rash...for what? This feeling…It is not anger, hate, disgust...nor is it pleasure or happiness...And I get this new feeling from this insolent girl? How pathetic. He was surprised as she looked back at him without fear.  
  
"Guards. Arrest her," he said needlessly, adding, "simply bring her back with us until I decide what to do with her." Syaoran moved to get back into his carriage. I can find out exactly what's going on in my mind if I take her along with me. It's not everyday I experience something new.  
  
"Master Syaoran! That is not the law! She must die!"  
  
Syaoran slowly turned to look the unlucky man in the eye. His cold, dark gaze was unreadable, but he exuded a heartless anger that made the man freeze and tremble in a strange terror. Without a second glance, Syaoran climbed back into his carriage and heard a guard give a muffled cry as Sakura kicked him right in his shin in an attempt to get away.  
  
As if on cue, the procession started up again and picked up speed, eager to return home from the tedious trip to Shintogu from Hotokegi. As they departed, Prince heard the guard bark out a mocking laugh, saying, "You should be glad, girl, that you aren't dead. You should be, right now, for dishonoring the Prince and endangering his safety." The remark and the laugh rang in Syaoran's and Sakura's ears, both thinking different thoughts, dreading different things.  
  
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Sakura couldn't believe it. She let down her guard...for the first time in...how long? When she had addressed the guard, she kept her voice low to cover her obviously feminine voice, but that boy's voice had startled her. Prince Syaoran my butt she thought rebelliously.  
  
The guards had forgotten the child, and she scanned the crowd for the mother, and hoping that whoever-it-was would understand, she kicked the nearest guard right in the shins. Without her hands, she was at a huge disadvantage, not because of her lack of skill, but because of her balance and dexterity. The scuffle was brief and lasted but for a few minutes, but the child had disappeared from where she had crouched in terror. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief before she was tugged up viciously onto her feet.  
  
"Sakura-ohime!" Many eyes sought her own as she picked out her people among the crowd. "Our prayers are with you." A single tear slid down her cheek, but it was gone before it was noticed, as she was led away, her head held high, to her unknown future.  
  
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Syaoran watched the streets in deep thought. The streets were lined with people, but now at least half of their facial expressions had less variety. He saw lightly, or in some cases, not at all concealed anger, pity, sadness, and fear. There were broken conversations and furious mutterings circling through the gatherers, and it seemed the air was charged. "Will she be all right–" "How dare they–" The words were repeated by what seemed all of the crowd, before his hearing caught on a new phrase, "-hime" "-sama"...He was a Prince, not a Princess. What...wait, no...Who were these townspeople discussing, the girl???  
  
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The carriage arrived at the palace gates, which swung open at the mere opening of the herald's lips, for the Prince was expected. Li nodded in silent thanks to his servants and the guards that had formed two rows to his left and right, all the way up to the palace. He sighed inwardly and, with a slowness that would have been called reluctant if it weren't graceful, walked to the throne room to see his father. His eyes hardened and he willed his emotions to a void of cold.  
  
"My son!" The King did not smile nor acknowledge the Prince in any other way. He immediately started asking questions. "How was your trip? Did the marriage envoy go well?" The coldness was not so bad as the rage held in check behind the King's eyes.  
  
"I do not wish a marriage."  
  
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Sakura had arrived at the castle a good several minutes behind the Prince. After all, she had been walked, or rather, half-dragged, half-led, instead of riding in a carriage. She had been used to this sort of exercise, but the amount of dust and dirt that had collected from the fight and the long walk back had begun to nag her. Escape first, clean later, she admonished herself.  
  
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The King froze, and then relaxed as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards in what could have been called a smile, but his anger was plain to his son. "We have discussed this. Fine, if you do not want a marriage we will simply have to introduce you to women so you can be more comfortable with them, Syaoran." The King suddenly noticed Sakura being brought in by his guards. "Who is she?"  
  
"Simply a passerby who had grabbed my interest." Li kept his answers short and brief in a stubborn persistent rebellion against the probing interrogation.  
  
Instead of a lengthy lecture, the King asked, "What is her name then?"  
  
"..." Li paused. Had he even asked? "I do not know." A careless shrug hid the sudden sag to his shoulders. He stiffened slightly as his father peered over at Sakura.  
  
"What is your name, girl?" His father made the simple address sound rude and malicious. Oh well, I manage to sound that way half the time, what does it matter?  
  
"I don't tell my name to arrogant...animals who don't deserve to hear it," Sakura said quietly.  
  
The King turned purple, then red. He glared at her furiously while Syaoran tried his best not to stare. He tried, he really did. This girl looked familiar, somehow. Now where have I seen her? He looked at her closely, but his thoughts were interrupted.   
  
"You…you…" Syaoran stopped trying not to stare, he just couldn't help it. This was the very first time he had seen his father stutter. "You INSOLENT WENCH!" the King roared, finally, after an eternity of spluttering. His mind worked furiously to do something, anything, to humiliate this upstart girl. Slowly, his mouth broke into a malicious smile as his mind clicked into the obvious solution. "Nevermind. I don't have to waste my breath with trash like you." He spat "you" like a curse, a foul thing that had to be swished around in his mouth before he cast it out. His eyes narrowed, and realization slowly dawned upon Syaoran, but his brain, his actions, suddenly seemed as if he was walking through fog…so slow…too slow. "For your impertinence, I hereby sentence you to be imprisoned for your acts of treason in endangering the crown and speaking against me." Sakura's thoughts brightened, slightly. This was better than expected. "This is only at nighttime. During the daytime, you will wholly submit yourself to Syaoran's service and serve as his body servant. Take her away." Her hopes crashed.  
  
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oOoOo ... what will happen next? =^_^=  
  
Thank you all for reading! Please review and let me know what you think =). I would luv it if some people could e-mail me/IM me about this story, I kinda need beta-readers and tons of opinions =)! Hope my next chapter comes soon…oh well, depends on the reviewers ~_^…  
  
To my Reviewers...  
  
kikakai:thanks for being the first reviewer *cheers* ^_^  
  
munkeemajick:I know you meant "like" instead of "ike" ;-)  
  
babi minu:yes, as you can see, this chapter is a LOT longer than the first, and I do intend to continue this story + make it longer…just need inspiration!  
  
AnonymousT:the last chapter was more of an introduction to see if anyone would like my idea x.x seeing that some people do, I'll try and make these longer for you guys =)  
  
crystal:updating…hm, I'll keep that in mind, and do it more often ~_^.  
  
Sapphire Melody:thank you, just what I was looking for =D I hope the rest of the story doesn't disappoint you.  
  
anderson:did you find out the answer to your question? What did YOU think would happen? *is curious* (lemme know!)  
  
Emily10:x.x yipes, I did worry if people would get bored with this…maybe this chapter that I wrote was too long? Tell me if its tedious to read ^_^  
  
Michelle:im hurrying, im hurrying =p  
  
tiere:o.o wow, lots of enthusiam…thanks for ur support =))  
  
tomoyo-chan_8060:/bI did I did! Er…I meant the one I just posted ~_^ next one coming soon!  
  
Stephine: *goggles* you mean to say you've watched CCS and Li isn't arrogant??? 0-0 well, he's a pretty nice guy, but has a cold exterior…oops, did I say too much? I luved your review, it was the longest so far…keep them coming!  
  
Lavenda:although all the other reviews really made me want to update, yours was the last straw that finally did it =p *pats you on the back* yes, I'm sure the other reviewers agree that they wanted an update x.x just look XD. 


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